Second-Hand Embarrassment

My son Calvin has coined a term for a feeling our family often experiences, Second Hand Embarrassment. It’s when another person is doing something that should be embarrassing to them but is not and you as the bystander are then forced to be embarrassed for them. It was first used as we sat across from an older couple at a restaurant who was having a cringe-worthy exchange with the waitress. We all were uncomfortable but the people making it that way were not. They were oblivious to the shame they were causing.

Like second-hand smoke, second-hand embarrassment is a selfish way to put others in an unwanted situation. People that fail to realize their bad ways affect more than those that immediately surround them. This is however the only way it happens

Our sins don’t just affect us. When a person goes about in a sinful way, the cloud it creates rains on many. People think that is how their church behaves, how their family thinks, and what their employer is all about. Your actions can disgrace a whole host of other people. You may have forgotten how to blush, but that doesn’t however mean others have (Jeremiah 6:15).

We need to look wider than ourselves when it comes to our actions. If all those we know are all embarrassed for us, maybe we should be too.

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