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The Most Awkward Way to Destroy a Friendship


   How are you supposed to deal with the awkward situation of a friend that asks to borrow money?  Can you say no?  Does it matter what it is for?  What if they can’t pay you back? What if they won’t pay you back?  What if you are the one in need, is it wrong to ask for help from a friend?


  Many a relationship has come to an awkward end when money becomes involved.  So what wisdom does the Bible have for us when it comes to these types of situations? Let break them down into two categories:

When you are asked to be a lender:
   If at all possible, don’t be a personal lender (Proverbs 22:26-27).  As one person wisely told me never lend a friend money that you are not willing to give them.  If you can’t afford to give them money, you can’t afford to lend them money as well.   If you can help someone out do so (Proverbs 3:27-28), but make sure things stay between you and them.  Don’t cosign a loan or take on the debt (Proverbs 17:18).  You are only asking for trouble.

  Remember however when money is involved the relationship will change.  At sense of indebtedness will occur (Proverbs 22:2).  I wonder if the problem is often we don’t think to be helpful until the person is desperate enough to ask for money.  If we are that close, shouldn’t we have already seen the need and offered to help (James 2:15-16, Luke 6:31-34)?  I think we all should be budgeting money to give to others as we see need (Ephesians 4:28). 

  Now if they help isn’t as much a need but a want, that changes how we should operate.  The Bible isn’t against loaning for non-necessities unless it is excessive and oppressive (Exodus 22:25-27, Proverbs 28:8). If you decide to lend money in those circumstances, make sure you take the necessary precautions or you can get into trouble (Proverbs 11:15, Proverbs 20:16).

When you need someone to lend to you:
   If you find yourself as the one in need of a loan and are asking a friend to help, you need to remember the burden is on you.  Don’t make them feel as if they are doing you wrong if they don’t!  Don’t be a leech.  If you can work your way out of your money problems you need to do that (2nd Thessalonians 3:7-8).  Be thankful not ungrateful.
   Make sure to pay back what you borrow (Psalms 37:21). If you are indebted to someone, it should be your top priority to pay back what you owe.  All other expenses should be secondary (Proverbs 6:1-5). Vacations, eating out, luxury items must go to the back burner.  Keep track and make payments and if you can’t you have the responsibility to go and explain why.  Volunteer to put up something as collateral so you show responsibility.  Don’t offer something you must have as collateral (Deuteronomy 24:6), it’s not fair to you or them.
  Remember if you found yourself in this situation make sure you are not going to put yourself right back in.  Take responsibility for your situation.  Make sure you are not making the same errors that got you in this mess.  Discipline yourself.  If you are not doing the things required to take care of yourself, other shouldn’t have to keep bailing you out (2nd Thessalonians 3:10-12).


  Money troubles can be sticky situations.  We need to remember however that money isn’t the most important thing.  Proverbs 16:8 says, “Better is a little with righteousness Than great income with injustice.”  When it comes to how we handle our money, make sure we serve God before we serve self!
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