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You Sure Are Mean to The People Who Love You


   There are some people we want to see punished. The arrogant, the rude, the mean, the cruel.  A part of us longs to see folks like that get their comeuppance.  It doesn't take much for us to roundly condemn people we don’t like. When the time comes to put
them in their place, people will line up around the block to deliver punishment. But I have noticed something about us humans, as much as we like to punish those we don’t like; we struggle to do so when the person to be punished is likeable.

   I think I first realized this when I was doing my student teaching. There happened to be two students in our 6th grade pod that both had gotten well behind on their school work. Both had had ample time to complete their makeup work but because of their own laziness had not done so.  So when grades were about to come out both students came begging for more time. They were both class clowns and cut ups, but one of them was genuinely funny, gregarious and very personable.  The other was a pest, and a constant frustration.  The later I was quick to teach a lesson about responsibility, the first I was willing to let slide. Now that wasn't really fair or right, not just to the kid who was punished but to the one that wasn’t.  You see at that age it is important to learn responsibility. Kids are transiting into Jr. High from elementary. In elementary school, teachers tend to “hold the kids hands” more. When the kids get to higher grades the teachers have many more students and can’t keep up with all the students’ responsibility for them.  Those that don't learn the lesson of keeping up with their own schoolwork are in for a world of hurt as they advance. By letting him slide, I had robbed him of an important learning experience. I allowed my “liking of him” to cause me to do him harm.

   This phenomenon affects the church as well. There are times a church must act negatively towards a person because of their actions. In 1st Timothy 5:19-21 we see this in terms of an elder. In verses 20 & 21 we read, “Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.  I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of His chosen angels, to maintain these principles without bias, doing nothing in a spirit of partiality. 
  
  Those that continue in sin must be confronted, to not do so only set the precedent that sin is acceptable and others might follow their lead. Notice however he continues to command that it be done without partiality. It may be easy for us to condemn the world for its sin because it is “them”, but when it is someone we personally know, respect and love, it may cause us to be more partial. Churches may not have trouble removing a fellow we all don’t like, but when he is a great giver, or has lots of friends, or is charming, it may make us act differently. But that should not matter! If there is sin, it is damaging and must be dealt with.


   As much as I hear people vilify a churches that discipline members, to not do so can be just as great of offense. The person in sin continues thinking it is acceptable; those that see his actions might follow his lead, and the reputation of the body is tarnished.  A real friend will tell you when you are wrong so you won't stay that way. Someone that does care about you won't let you go to your ruin without a word (Proverbs 27:5-6). Don't let your friendship cause you to harm your brother!
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