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Five Terrible Reasons To Leave A Congregation


   Something has gone wrong in your home congregation and you are thinking about packing up and heading someplace else. Should I stay? Should I go? The answers might not depend on what happened, but on the reason you are making that decision.  You have your reasons for wanting to leave, but are they good reasons. Here are five terrible reasons to leave a congregation.

1.      Someone Made Me Mad!
It might have been the preacher, or the elders or the little old lady that took your seat, it doesn't matter you’re mad and you don’t have to take it. You can pack up and move to where you will be treated right!  You will “get back” at them by leaving!  But if you are moving because you are mad, chances are you will be moving again pretty quick regardless of where you go.  No place is perfect. No place will do everything right all the time. If you don’t learn how to deal with your anger it won’t matter what they do, you will get mad. Getting Mad doesn't help (James 1:20).  Don’t leave; find a way to solve the problem. Forgive. Forget. Get over it and move forward.

2.     I’m Seeking Anonymity
Early in my career, the congregation I was working with was near a “mega” church. Often when the preacher and I would visit wayward members they would often say they had been going to the mega church instead. I don’t know if they were since there was no way to tell. They could slip in and out of services and not be noticed.  Even if they were unfaithful in attendance, who would know?  Some folks leave a congregation because they don't feel comfortable with the level of commitment it requires. They may not say it that way, but it is the reason nonetheless. They would rather “ghost” around so they can be at services enough to keep their guilt at bay, but never are expected to do much more than show up.  If this is your attitude, it would be better for you to not go anywhere than be lukewarm (Revelation 3:15-16).

3.     I’m Looking For Something Better
This place has a wittier preacher, or better Bible class, or softer pews. It doesn't matter what is better, it’s that idea that the grass is greener on the other side of the highway.  We think that better is just a move away.  How about instead of trying to find better elsewhere, try to make it better here?  Instead of looking for someone else to make improvements, why don't I start right where I am and work to improve this place.  Better is more often what we make happen, than what we find elsewhere!

4.     They Don’t Do Enough For Me
The preacher isn't keeping my attention.  The youth program isn't dynamic enough. The song leader won’t lead any good songs.  They didn't give me what I thought they would. Simply, I want this and they don’t have it. So I’ll go where they do. The problem is we want to make church more Burger King and less McDonald’s. Let me explain that. Burger King’s motto is “Have it your way!”. You are the consumer so you should get what you want.  But what does it say on the McDonald's sign? “Over one million served”.  You are not part of the Lord’s church to have it your way but to serve (Mark 1:33-35).  This consumer mentality is destroying the purpose of the church. To borrow a line from Kennedy, "Ask not what the church is doing for me, ask what I can do to serve my Savior”

5.     I'm Leaving Because Of Something I Don’t Know All The Facts About
They fired the preacher I liked, so I am leaving. They didn't commit to this work; they must against progress so I'm going somewhere else. They made some decision that I can make only a vague guess as to why, but it will be enough for me to leave.  Did we ever think maybe just maybe there is something going on that I might not know about that caused them to act that way?  Maybe the preacher needed to be fired and they want to keep others out of the mire? Maybe they want to do the program but need to lay some groundwork first so it could be successful.  Leadership in the church is about considering more than just one point of view.  One side of a story doesn't tell the whole picture.  Before jumping out the door with the wrong conclusion, try considering that you might not know everything that goes on.

There may be a good reason to leave, but none of these are those. Before we let our anger and assumption cause us to hurt the Lord’s people, let examine our own motives before we do.


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