It Could Be The Weak Link In All Your Failed Relationships Is You

I see it sometimes in preachers. I listen to them talk about their previous works, how the elders didn't support them, how the congregation wasn’t spiritual minded enough to understand their sermons, how the deacons refused to get on board with their ideas, that’s why they had to leave. I see it sometimes in students. They complain about how all the teacher were overly critical of them, how the other students mistreated them, how the administration was bias against them, that's why they do poorly every year. I see it sometimes in constantly unemployed people. The boss was too demanding, the corporation didn’t treat me right, my coworkers were intimidated by my ideas, that's why I don’t work there anymore. Do those things happen? Of course, they do. But what does it mean when they happen over and over to the same person?

I try not to give the conclusion to my articles in the title, but this one seemed to work better that way. I wonder if a lot of our reoccurring problems that we want to blame on everyone else have a much simpler source, ourselves. It is difficult to take a good hard look at ourselves and see that we might have some room for improvement; to recognize that the man in the mirror isn’t so perfect; that the rest of the world may not be wrong, it just might be me.

True self-reflection is a necessary and Biblical concept. Romans 12:3 tells us, “ not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith”. Galatians 6:3-4 warns us, “For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another”. Before we are quick to blame everyone else, maybe we should also look inside.

You know even if we can find someone to blame, that doesn’t do us much good. Blame doesn’t solve problems. Correction, improvement, adaption, wisdom; these things solve problems. Even if there are factors in others that limit us that doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to improve the situation. If we want to be better we must seek to improve not blame.

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Ecclesiastes 12:10

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