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The Not Spouse



    A web comic called Basic Instructions by Scott Myer once had a comic that talked about dealing with the all too familiar phenomena of what to call the romantically involved couple that lives together but is unmarried.  The title of the comic was “How To Refer To Someone’s Not Spouse”.  While I wouldn’t agree with everything in that comic, the term Not Spouse (Not Husband or Not Wife) is one that I think is probably right.  They may live like they are married but they are not. 

    This “act married but not” state is becoming all too familiar within modern culture.  It is no longer considered wrong or taboo.  The concept of “married relationship” with someone you are not married to is accepted and even encouraged. If someone wants to have a married relationship outside of marriage, why should anyone else care?

   The Bible clearly doesn’t think that this practice is acceptable.  Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”  Just because the world has adopted this practice, doesn’t mean we should succumb to its ways and abandoned proper marriage (1st Corinthians 7:2-4).  God’s plan from the beginning was for couples to exist in the marriage bond (Matthew 19:4-6). If we are to be right with God we must understand that affects everything including our relationships.  To accept what God doesn’t is a rebellion against God.  An unmarried person living like they are is not in God’s will.

  When Jesus talked with the Samaritan woman at the well, he was in the same situation as was in this comic.  Notice what Jesus said in John 4:17-18

"Jesus said to her, "You have correctly said, 'I have no husband'; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly."  Jesus understood the significant difference and was concerned about her situation.  Why?  Because if she truly what wanted Jesus had to offer, he knew something things would have to change.  It’s not any different today.  If we want what Jesus offers, we can’t bring our sin along.  Our concern for souls has to include the proper knowledge of what God view of marriage.  A Not spouse is not going to work!

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